Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts

Saturday, September 5, 2009

New Addition

This entry is about our new addition, Evan's birthday, and some other stuff as I come up with it.

No, I don't mean New Edition, as in Bobby Brown's first boy band. I mean Loki, our new-but-not-so-new Siamese cat with about 132,000 lives.



Loki was Jenn's cat, which she has had for I don't know how long. He has a constant runny nose, snores, and wraps his body around your head when he sleeps. Great cat, but pretty gross.

He has been living with Jenn's parents for at least the last four years. On Aug. 15, he got out of the house and either got hit by a car or kicked in the face by someone who doesn't like cats. Jenn, Evan, Kaleb and I were just finishing my birthday lunch at one of our favorite restaurants when Jenn's sister called and said Loki got hit by a car (the alternate theory arose later when we realized he had no further injuries except what was visible on his face.

When we got to her parents' home, we didn't know what to expect. I fully expected to pull up to a squished cat and facing the job of having to use a shovel to pick him up. Instead, we found Loki lying (and trying to get out of) a milk crate lined with bathroom towels.

He had a bloody, snotty nose, both eyes were blood-shot, one pupil was fully dilated, and he was panting. We thought his jaw as broken, but it wasn't. We took Loki to the vet, where he stayed for two days. Doc pulled him through the rough part with some anti-shock therapy and heavy-duty antibiotics.

In the final tally, Loki is blind in his right eye (which is still dilated), and drools more than he should. Doc said he has an upper respiratory infection (but he's been snotty since I first met him) and in the words of the vet, he is "making himself diabetic," which translates to "he pees about a gallon an hour."

This cat should be dead. But he isn't. So we brought him home to our house. Magic hates it. She hisses at and smacks him every chance she can get. They fight each other for bed space, food, laps and territory. Magic was so mad she actually peed and pooped on a pair of jeans I left on my bedroom floor one day last week. I keep hoping they will grow out of it.

In other business, Evan turned 6 this week and started kindergarten two weeks ago. I can't believe it. None of us can. It's crazy.

We had a small get-together at our house last weekend. He got a new baseball mitt, a new and bigger bike, a soccer ball, a Star Wars-themed educational telescope, and lots of clothes. We threw him a Star Wars-themed party and Jenn even made him a birthday cake shaped like a light saber. Very cool and creative on Jenn's part; not to mention really, really good.

Kaleb now has 3 teeth and is working on #4. He can take bites and chews on everything, including fingers when you try to feel for new teeth. It hurts. As always, he is into everything, loves playing with everything we tell him not to touch, and gives us that "who, ME???" smile every time we tell him no.
In job hunt news, I have an interview for the dispatching position on Sept. 15. The background check is over, so apparently I passed it; I knew I would. Jenn mentioned a possibility that I hadn't thought of before. There is a chance that the field of 16 might have been trimmed down due to bad backgrounds, and maybe trimmed down even further if these folks have taken other jobs at other companies.

I am hedging my bets, thought, as I found out about 3 open positions at a newspaper that is in competition with the paper where I used to work. I sent my resume and writing samples and the employee at the paper who gave me the heads-up wrote her boss a recommendation for me without me even asking her to do so.

I'm getting close. Without getting over-confident or cocky, I'm getting close to ending this dry streak. I can just feel it.

I got another "sign" this week when the company where I work part-time eliminated my supervisor position due to the economy and finally getting a feel for how the store will perform in Bowling Green. I am not being replaced by someone else or in trouble for anything I did or didn't do. The company is just adjusting now that the pie-in-the-sky pipe dream honeymoon period is over.

The elimination of my title (and $1 per hour) is not necessarily a bad thing. If I get a full-time job, my hope is to stay there anyway, in which case I would have had to give up my supervisor title anyway. The way I see it, my schedule is opening up to make way for a full-time job coming to my near future.

At least I hope that's what it is.

So whatever it is that you do: Bow to Mecca, pray, throw salt over your shoulder, wish on a star, smoke a peace pipe, do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight, I beg you to please do it starting now and PLEASE KEEP IT UP!!! I can use all the help I can get.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Things to be Happy About: Part 1

A couple of weekends ago, Jen, the boys and I took a trip up to Lake Erie to relax and just BE for once, without running around or feeling like we have to accomplish something on the never-ending list of things to do.

Jenn surprised me by bringing along a book titled "14,000 Things to be Happy About," and had me read some entries out loud while she drove. It was a fun process and got us talking about what makes us happy...the little things. It's nice to think about those things in our own lives to keep us centered.

It's been a long, rough 6 months for me and my family, so we decided to blog our own lists. This is a short list, and I will add more in new entries over time.

So here it is: Greg's

Things to be Happy About:
  • New school supplies. Weird thing to start out with, I know, but 'tis the season. I love the sound and smell of brand new notebooks and pens, and picking out exactly what you need. No, we aren't in need of anything right now, but Evan is, and it's fun to go shopping for this kind of stuff.
  • A healthy family...especially when you don't have health insurance!!!
  • Opportunities. Being layed off, I can do anything I want. What do I want to be when I grow up? A dispatcher!
  • The opening riff to Poison's "Look What the Cat Dragged In" live. The crunchier the guitar the better. It literally gives me shivers of pleasure and excitement every time I hear it.
  • Jimmy Stewart movies. Jimmy was an amazing actor and an amazing man. I strive to be like him, but I don't want to be an actor.
  • Arena rock. I love 80s hair metal!!!!!
  • Finishing a really good book
  • Freshly-brewed coffee: Which I am drinking as I write this.
  • An hour of silence.
  • Satisfaction from a job well-done. The bigger or harder that job is, the greater the satisfaction.
  • Watching your children reach their milestones as they grow up.
  • (A corollary) A baby's one-toothed grin.
  • A clean house.
  • The cracking of the spine of a new book being opened for the first time.
  • A to-do list with all of the items checked off
That's my list for now. I hope to add more in a future post.

-Greg

Thursday, May 28, 2009

What goes up must come down

Have you ever noticed that things can go TOO well and somebody ends up pissing in your Wheaties just so that everything stays in perspective?

Allow me to start from the beginning. I won tickets and meet-and-greet passes (back stage passes) from the local radio station, 104.7, WIOT, for the Bret Michaels concert at the Omni in Toledo Wednesday night.

I followed the directions and did what I was supposed to do (be at the sound board after the show to go back stage). I showed up at the sound board and nobody knew anything. Jenn and I spent an hour and a half walking around asking Omni employees, security, Bret's personal security, even Bret's personal body guard Big John if they knew anything about it. Nobody knew anything at all. And although there was a WIOT van parked in the lot, there wasn't an employee to be found ANYWHERE.

SO, I didn't get to do the meet and greet because apparently nobody communicates at the bar, in the security detail, or at the radio station. I didn't really care because I had met him Tuesday night at the Mud Hens game. But Jenn was really looking forward to it, and she didn't go on Tuesday.

So that's one hose-down, courtesy of WIOT. I sent them a respectful e-mail about it today, but they didn't bother to reply and explain themselves. Just more proof to support my opinion that they give away these "meet and greet passes" as a public relations prank and have no clue -- or no intention -- of following through. As long as they get their listeners to think they are cool.

It wasn't even a great concert. It was a bunch of drunk 20-something blondes girls trying to push their way to the front to try to make out with Bret. One gal even tried to push past me. I stood my ground and wouldn't let her past me. She said "I'm just trying to get to the stage." My response was "you and 2000 other jack-holes in this bar. You can go behind me if you want."

She called me a name. It starts with an F and rhymes with "trucker." I smiled. Maybe I am. But I'm not going to let a pretty face, skimpy shirt or short skirt convince me that someone can push their way in front of me. Solly Cholly.

Photos of the concert appear above. I also posted video on YouTube of songs that I either have never seen Bret perform or only seen him perform a couple of times. No, I don't have any of the WAY overplayed songs like "Every Rose" or "Something to Believe In." To find my videos, search YouTube for the username "iawlfan." That's me. I hope to add more video soon.

On the up-side, Evan "graduated" from pre-school tonight. That was fun, even though I think the entire idea is a little ridiculous. Evan looked handsome in his graduation cap. He was funny to watch as he kept smacking the "tassel" out of his face with his diploma. His mom cried. His grandmothers cried. I had fun. Photos of that also appear above.

And then I got home and got hosed again. My old boss called me around 9 p.m. to chat. I have caller ID and I answered the phone expecting a discussion that started "can you come back to work on Monday." Instead, I got "I decided to hire the old part-time guy who left for another newspaper instead. I thought he would be a better fit in the Perrysburg office. I didn't think anyone in the newsroom would fit up there." He said it had nothing to do with my ability, but everything to do with personality fit.

I asked him if he was legally allowed to hire someone from the outside instead of bringing back an employee who had been laid off. He said he didn't ask for a legal opinion but thought this was the better choice. I was nice. But I intend to ask for a legal opinion of my own.

I could say more, but I'll save it so I don't get in trouble in case this has a legal course of action available.

For now, I'm a proud papa who is pissed off and pissed on. In the meantime, I'm keeping my hopes up (but not so high they will be dashed again!) for the second interview.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Keeping my fingers crossed

Since it has been a month since Chris passed away, it doesn't look like I'll be returning to the Sentinel. My former boss said he would let me know "in two weeks or so" whether it was a possibility or not. That was a month ago, so I assume the answer is "or not."

In the meantime, I have kept my hopes up and my options open, as I have applied for three really great jobs...well, two really great jobs, and one pretty good one with great benefits.

I have applied for dispatching positions in Findlay and Perrysburg. I already have taken the civil service exam for the Findlay position. If I pass that (and I will - call me cocky, but I know I will), I will have to return June 2 to take a computer test.

I take the civil service exam for the Perrysburg dispatching position June 17.

The other job I am applying for is secretary for the Wood County Educational Service Center. I would rather be a dispatcher, but basically, any state job would be good.

Currently, I still am at Peebles. I got that promotion, which is nice, but it's still hurting me because any money I make there just gets taken out of how much I am supposed to get from unemployment. So why do I continue to do it? First of all, I am hoping that I will find a full-time job soon and will be able to stay at Peebles to supplement our income.

PLEASE keep your fingers crossed for the dispatching jobs. They are GOOD state jobs that would represent a 25 percent pay increase for me from my old job. That would be a wonderful shot in the arm for this family.

We need all the help, prayers and crossed fingers we can get. We have been doing well, but when we feel like this bumpy ride called unemployment has smoothed out - when we start to see light at the end of the tunnel - the bottom gives out, and it turns out that the light at the end of the tunnel is another train. We keep getting hit with nasty surprises, so the sooner I find a job, the better.

Take care, thanks for reading, and thanks for your support.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Possibly the shortest-lived blog ever

I have been kicking around the idea of this blog pretty much since I got laid off. I have thought about what it would look like, what the topic would be, and how I would censor myself in case potential employers found it.

Most of all, I spent a lot of time thinking about if I really wanted to say what was on my mind, since my emotions have been everywhere during the past month.

Actually, today IS one month. I was laid off one month ago today. I'm going to drink a beer tonight to celebrate.

But I will be celebrating more than unemployment. Hopefully it will be a celebration of short-term unemployment.

On Monday, I attended what I call a "cattle call" in Bowling Green. This particular cattle call was for a store called Peebles that is opening up just down the road from my house on April 30. Everyone walked in, filled out an application and interviewed on the spot.

The woman who interviewed me just called me and wants a second interview on Friday. So I will be there!

Jenn isn't excited about retail, but anything ... even a fast food job or cleaning the drunk tanks at the jail ... is better than what I have now!

So keep your fingers crossed for me!

Monday, March 16, 2009

What does it all mean?




I'm bored.

Not really. I was laid off from my job as a writer for the local newspaper on Feb. 17. I had been there for 10 1/2 years. It was my first job out of college, and my first career. I planned to stay there and retire.

I had an inkling that it may be coming, so I e-mailed myself all of my contact numbers and e-mail addresses about three weeks before the axe fell. I thought maybe I was safe, but there is no such thing, come to find out.

I'm not bitter. I'm mad, frustrated, scared and flat-out broke, but not bitter.

And tonight I feel optimistic. That usually isn't a word that is in a journalist's vocabulary. You can only report on so many murders and assaults and drug busts and lies before you get a little jaded and stop believing in and trusting people.

This layoff has been a blessing in that way. I have had the opportunity to get to know my five-month-old son, Kaleb and what all of his cries and funny sounds mean. I have been able to spend more time with my 5-year-old son, Evan, who recently earned his yellow belt with a stripe in karate. I have had a chance to argue, cry, be afraid, learn, establish a plan, and truly reconnect with my wife, Jenn.

I have fought with job and family services at both the local and state level. I have been frustrated by the incapacity of the people at the Child Support Enforcement Agency to have a heart or to allow me to look out for the son who lives with me. I have accused a credit card "counselor" of being a heartless, uncompassionate liar, and I have told more people than I can count that you can't squeeze blood from a stone.

At the same time, I have seen unbelievable acts of kindness, from unwavering multi-pronged support from my parents, a surprise hug from my brother (unheard of!), support from my in-laws, a surprise phone call from a former co-worker, constant e-mails from one co-worker and two colleagues, numerous visits from a close friend who has seen me deal with a lot of emotional baggage through the years, an unbelievable act of kindness from my Internet Service Provider, and hundreds of dollars in reduced fees from another creditor.

It is these acts of kindness that are helping to eliminate that jaded state of my soul and make me a better husband, father, son, and overall person.

So now, I take care of Kaleb 3 days a week. During the other two days, I run around madly trying to find a new job. Every other weekend and on Wednesday nights we add Evan to the fray. At all times, I am doing housework; searching for the Bigger, Better Job; and reading a variety of hints and tips on how to survive this crisis we currently are in.

Last night, Jenn and I watched the 1983 movie Mr. Mom. Jenn and I both noticed that it pretty much describes us to a T. I just haven't become addicted to the soaps...yet.

So this all leads me to reason this blog is titled "Stronger Now" and has the phrase "rise fall rise again" in the address.

Those are references to two songs that are appropriate to current events and previous events in my life. While the specifics of the songs do not always directly coincide with those events, the sentiments of the songs remain the same. I have included the lyrics here:

Broken Beat and Scarred
By Metallica
(Listen to it here)

You rise, you fall, you're down, then you rise again
What don't kill you make you more strong
You rise, you fall, youre down, then you rise again
What don't kill you make you more strong

Rise, fall, down, rise again
What don't kill you make you more strong
Rise, fall, down, rise again
What don't kill you make you more strong

Through black days
Through black nights
Through pitch black insights

Breaking your teeth on the hard life coming
Show your scars
Cutting your feet on the hard earth running
Show your scars
Breaking your life
Broken, beat and scarred
But we die hard

The dawn, the death, the fight to the final breath
What don't kill you make you more strong
The dawn, the death, the fight to the final breath
What don't kill you make you more strong

Dawn, death, fight, final breath
What don't kill you make you more strong
Dawn, death, fight, final breath
What don't kill you make you more strong

They scratched me
They scraped me
They cut and rape me

Breaking your teeth on the hard life coming
Show your scars
Cutting your feet on the hard earth running
Show your scars
Breaking your life
Broken, beat and scarred
But we die hard

Breaking your teeth on the hard life coming
Show your scars
Cutting your feet on the hard earth running
Show your scars
Braiding your soul in a hard luck story
Show your scars
Spilling your blood in a hot suns foray
Show your scars
Breaking your life
Broken, beat and scarred
We die hard

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stronger Now
By Warrant
(Listen to it here)

I held you for a moment in my hands
The moment with you slipped away like sand
Through my fingers now
In front of me a choice I have to make
To carry on or simply fade away
I lose you either way
I'd like to say that it was easy, it was hard
To say goodbye, I thought that I would die
Chorus
Letting go of you, was so hard to
And I thought that it would kill me but I made
It through somehow, and I'm so much stronger now
I gave to you my love and my respect
But I could never make you love me back
I denied it so
I grew bitter watching you grow cold
My life became your prison, took it's toll
I decided
Like a bird that's trapped
Inside a gilded cage
It's right to set it free,
Hurts to watch it
Fly away
Letting go of you, was so hard to
And I thought that it would kill me but I made
It through somehow, and I¹m so much stronger now

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The themes of those two songs embody what life and this blog are all about: We rise, fall, get down, then we rise again. What doesn't kill us makes us more strong, and I AM stronger now. But I know I will fall again. We all have our days. It's how we come out on the other side that counts.

As Andy Dufresne said in the movie The Shawshank Redemption, "Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."