I caved: Meet our menagerie

My last two posts have been about why I disappeared for the last year. I told about my diagnosis of possible Multiple Sclerosis, and I told you about how we bought a house and moved (check them out). Another big life change for us this year as the result of the move, my wife's constant nagging, and my spineless caving.

Jenn and our cat Maisey

I hate dogs. We have (had) two cats that hate dogs. My wife and I both grew up with cats and love snuggling with them at bedtime, with their comforting purr as a gentle soundtrack for sleep. But I hate dogs. I hate cleaning up their poop. I hate cleaning off their paws when they go outside in the rain and mud and snow to take their crap. I hate yippy dogs that bark at the wind and tear up your stuff.

I had a dog when I was a kid. Dumbest dog ever. Open the gate, he ran away. Off like a shot. Never got to play with him. He just ran away and showed back up a few days later. It was depressing. My dad had a few guard dogs at his business. Jaws, the Doberman, was awesome. One of dad's employees had to carry a lead pipe with him around the dog. He never hit the dog, but if he didn't have the pipe, the dog would attack him. I would play with the dog all of the time. He also had a German Shepherd named Shadow. Also an awesome dog.

But it still didn't change my outlook on cleaning up poop and constant barking for no reason.

Then we bought the house, which my wife took to mean that we were going to get a dog. She started begging. That annoying, constant, chip away at your soul begging. She started sending me pictures from adoption pages of dogs she wanted. One day in late August, I couldn't take it anymore and like a spineless jellyfish, I imploded.

"Fine, we can get a dog," I told her.

"Good," she answered. "I already made an appointment to see one on Saturday.

"Of course you did," I replied. "We can LOOK, but I have to have a say in the dog we get. I won't get a psycho."

So Saturday, September 3 comes around and we get the kids in the car. They are clueless. We didn't tell them what we were doing. We go to visit the dog, and I immediately fall in love, but I keep up my hard-ass I hate dogs appearance because that's what I do. She doesn't jump or run away or bark or freak out or bite. She's just chill.

Meeting Bailey

Adopting Bailey and taking her home

In the pet store looking for all of the stuff it takes to care for a dog (a LOT).

We didn't consider any other dogs. Love at first sight, I guess. Her name was Abby when we got her. We decided to rename her. We tried Zuzu, from the character in It's a Wonderful Life, but after a couple of days, we realized it didn't fit her. So we tried Bailey instead, after the Bailey family in the same film. It stuck. And the best part about it is that I don't have to pick up the dog poop in the back yard. That was my only requirement. I clean the cats' litter boxes. Everyone else can clean up the dog dookie.

So our growing pet family count was 1 dog and two cats. Apparently it wasn't enough. Someone posted on one of those Facebook sales sites that she had found a siamese cat that someone had lost, and she couldn't find the owner. I made the mistake of telling Jenn about it. I should have known better than to tell someone who desperately wanted a siamese where to get one for free. I didn't even have time to blink. Within hours, this emaciated cat was at our house. He has since gained 6 pounds.

Now we have 3 cats: Missy (short for Mystic), Maisey (because she was found as a kitten in a corn field), and Merlin (because Jenn decided to stick with the magic-themed M names).

Merlin the night we got him

Look at those eyes!!!!!

The eating situation, featuring Bailey, Merlin and Missy

Enough. I'm done. Maybe someday we'll get a rabbit or an iguana or a domesticated fox. But for now, this zoo is closed.

And for what it's worth, as much as I despise dogs, I sure do love Bailey. But don't tell anyone. 

Lap dog?

"Look Daddy. Paste it."

"Look Daddy. Paste it."

It is an innocent, heart-felt request from a little girl of about 4 years old. Something she loves has broken and she wants her dad to fix it.

Dad and the deck project.

Most of us have done this. We have asked our fathers to fix something. When we were young, we looked up to our fathers as magical beings. They could do anything. Somehow, they could do the impossible and it always left us with a sense of awe and wonder. As we grew older and needed more adult help - like replacing a hot water heater or building a deck or replacing a roof, or fixing a garbage disposal, we knew dad could help. And he never let us down.

Now that I'm older, I realize that I didn't pay nearly enough attention to the lessons. I can't solder two copper pipes together to save my life. Dad tried to show me how. I just took it for granted that he would always be here to do it, and I wouldn't have to know how to do it myself. That was short-sighted. It makes me wonder what life lessons I missed or screwed up on.

I was a bit of a block-head that way. People tried to teach me things and I didn't really learn from it. If 40-year-old me could go back and talk to 12-year-old me, I'd box my own ears, get in my own face and tell my self to learn something.

The good news is that in a way, I can still heed that late lesson. I still have the opportunity to follow the advice of Sweet Caporal cigarettes:

Source: http://www.alwaysjacked.com/2013/02/how-brands-and-dad-bloggers-should-work-together/

In the mean time, I realize that I'm a dad now and my kids are reaching the age that I can start teaching them how to do stuff. And I find myself praying that they will listen and learn better than I did.

I also keep my fingers crossed that there is no immediate need to enlist dad's aid on any more large crisis-type projects.

I CAN tell my dad thank you. I didn't listen as much as I should have, but that doesn't mean I didn't appreciate it, or that I don't love you.

Or as George tells his dad, "Pop, do you want a shock? I think you're a great guy." Happy Father's Day.

Blogging From A to Z - M is for Many things

Welcome to the It's A Wonderful Blog's Blogging From A to Z April (2015) Challenge. For this challenge, I will post every day in April (except for Sundays) about topics related to the Frank Capra/Jimmy Stewart film, It's a Wonderful Life.

Mother:

George, Ma Bailey and Uncle Billy.
Source: http://internationalpsychoanalysis.net/2007/12/19/
its-a-wonderful-life-a-cure-for-the-holiday-blues/

There's something about the connection an oldest son has to his mother.

Call it love. Call it dedication. call it whatever you want. You can even call it being a Mama's Boy. I'm a Mama's Boy, and I'm okay with that.

So was George Bailey. Sure, he gave her a hard time on occasion. But when it counted, he listened. Although he would never admit it, he visited Mary after Harry got married on the advice of his mother. He knows the wisdom she holds. She has gained that wisdom by being a caring individual, dedicated to Peter and the entire family.


Mary:
Mary is the total package. She is beautiful, dedicated, smart, willing to sacrifice for the greater good, not judgmental except for that one brief moment before she caught herself. She is a dedicated and loving mother, gracious host, artist, and hopeless romantic.

Mary Bailey
Source: http://bit.ly/1OcEWwv

She values the sentimental things in life, such as a meaningful song, or a turning point in a couple's relationship.

She is an American, helping soldiers and supporting her husband in his role fighting "The Battle of Bedford Falls."

Mary is in tune with her family, sensing when things aren't quite right. She is forgiving, not confronting Zuzu's teacher, and not dwelling on the frightening questions when she finds George has returned home.

She may be a Hatch by birth, but she is a Bailey at heart.


Martini:

Mr. Martini
Source: http://bit.ly/1GJ5rKP

Martini is the embodiment of the American Dream in this film. An Italian immigrant, he came to America to follow his dream to live in a decent home and support his family with a comfortable living. He managed to find that American Dream thanks to the building and loan and the end of prohibition.

Martini reminds us that with hard work, we too can accomplish our dreams. It is one of the many messages found in this film.



Money:
It's always about the money, isn't it? This is an unfortunate reality that we all must deal with.

The movie's characters such as 'Uncle Billy' walked the streets of downtown
Seneca Falls greeting the many visitors. The village of Seneca Falls turned into
the real Bedford Falls as it celebrated with the annual 'It's a Wonderful Life'
weekend Dec. 12-14, 2014. Stephen D. Cannerelli | scannerelli@syracuse.com
Photo and caption source: http://bit.ly/1Ewri7e

It can buy us what we want, but it can't give us what we need.

More often than not, money leads to any number of issues. Look at the top 3 reasons for divorce. Money is always one of them.

Like it or not, the Bible is correct when it says, "For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows." (1 Timothy 6:10)

Money, by itself, can do nothing. It is an inanimate object.  The LOVE of money is what causes the evil. The LOVE of money is the embodiment of Potter. And at the end of It's a Wonderful Life, Potter sat alone...with the exception of his goon.

George was tempted....many times. That temptation almost cost him his life. Instead, he rose above it and discovered that a wonderful life is about faith, family, friends and community, not how many dollar bills you have in your pocket.

And if you don't believe that, don't forget about the toast and parade they held for Mama Dollar and Papa Dollar. It was little, but it was enough to celebrate.

Blogging From A to Z - L is for Love and Life

Welcome to the It's A Wonderful Blog's Blogging From A to Z April (2015) Challenge. For this challenge, I will post every day in April (except for Sundays) about topics related to the Frank Capra/Jimmy Stewart film, It's a Wonderful Life.

Love:

George and Mary kissing.
Source: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/It's_a_Wonderful_Life

Only minutes into It's a Wonderful Life, Mary Hatch proclaims her love to George Bailey. She proclaims it into his deaf ear, so George is oblivious.

During the pool scene, we see George and Mary's eyes meet. This is the definition of "love at first sight." Even though they grew up together, this is the first time the audience meets them as adults. Technically, it's not "first sight," but for us, it is.

Love is a powerful thing. It allows you to let go of the $2,000 for the honeymoon so that your husband can save the family business. It allows you to work long hours while missing your family. It allows for dedication when you feel like there is nothing left inside to give.

Sure, we talk about the surface messages of It's a Wonderful Life a lot. We can't forget to look at the deeper message of love. After all, the other messages start with love.

Life:

George celebrating his return from the Pottersville nightmare.
Source: https://blog.soton.ac.uk/sp15g13/reviews/its-a-wonderful-life-review/

God's greatest gift. It's what George was going to throw away on the bridge. Life is part of the name of the film. "The Greatest Gift," referring to life, is the name of the story by Phillip Van Doren Stern, upon which It's a Wonderful Life is based.

The final scene of the film is a celebration of many things: Saving the Building and Loan (giving it life), celebrating Harry Bailey (for saving other people's lives in the war), and celebrating George's life, which Clarence saved by way of the Pottersville sequence. The entire final scene is about celebrating life.

Blogging From A to Z - H is for Harry and Hydrangea

Welcome to the It's A Wonderful Blog's Blogging From A to Z April (2015) Challenge. For this challenge, I will post every day in April (except for Sundays) about topics related to the Frank Capra/Jimmy Stewart film, It's a Wonderful Life.

Harry Bailey:

Sure, he's a war hero, but what kind of brother is he?

Harry Bailey, portrayed by Todd Karns
Source: http://www.zuzu.net/essays/todd_karns.html

He caused George to lose his hearing in one ear. Okay...I can give him that. It was an accident.

When the future of the Bailey Building and Loan was threatened, George gave his college money to Harry. So Harry earned his degree on George's earned money. There was a catch. Harry was supposed to take over the Building and Loan so that George could go to college.

But he couldn't even manage that. Harry left George hanging by getting married and taking a job with his father-in-law instead of taking the job he was SUPPOSED to take in Bedford Falls. Had he done that, George could have taken the trip and gotten the education he was patiently waiting for. Instead, George got stiffed because Harry was selfish.

He has some redeeming qualities. He came home when George needed him the most. But let's face it, he was coming home that night anyway....for a celebration in his honor...and didn't bring his wife, even though it is Christmas. So really, he was only coming home for selfish reasons, anyway.

And he didn't help George out financially. The only thing he managed to do was give a two-sentence, 10-word toast.

Perhaps the most endearing quality Harry possesses is that he saved a transport ship full of soldiers during World War II. He's a war hero, and I won't dishonor the armed forces by saying that he wasn't a hero or didn't deserve the Medal of Honor. However, as noble as that is, the reality is that he wouldn't have been able to do that if George hadn't saved him from the ice.

Harry was kind of a turd, come to think of it.

Hydrangea:

The hydrangea bush is the source of some of the sexiest, most suggestive dialogue in the film...at least in a scene that doesn't involve Violet.

Mary has lost her robe because George accidentally stepped on it while Mary was running. Technically, it was the creepy, nosey bald guy's fault.

In an unfortunate display, George actually whistles for Mary. He whistles like a master beckoning his dog. It's ridiculous. It's unfortunate. The clip is below. The action starts around the 3 minute mark. What does this say about the sexual politics of the late 1920s (when the scene was set), or the 1940s (when It's a Wonderful Life was released)?

Despite that, we get the sense that they could become very close if this scene would be allowed to play out. Unfortunately, their moment is disrupted by the death of George's father. It will be another four years before George and Mary can explore their relationship further.

Isn't George Ironic? Don't You Think?

Source: http://www.virginmedia.com/music/pictures/
profiles/when-popstars-get-political.php?ssid=16

His business is in trouble. Potter has (unknown to him) absconded with $8,000. Uncle Billy had neither his mind on his money or his money on his mind. Uncle Billy needs to call Snoop Dogg, fo' shizzle.

Of course, I am talking about the famous Frank Capra film, "It's a Wonderful Life." It’s all I ever talk about.

With nowhere to turn, George Bailey stands atop a bridge, ready to end his life. Then the strangest thing happens....Just as he prepares to jump, someone else falls in. George's protective, humanitarian instincts kick in and the jump changes from suicide attempt to rescue mission.

Source: http://archive.wired.com/table_of_
malcontents/2007/01/alanis_morisset/

It turns out that George rescues his Guardian Angel. Ironic, isn't it? Someone call Alanis and set her straight. Since I'm on the topic of Alanis and irony, she should ask George and Mary Bailey about rain on their wedding day. I'll bet they have an opinion.

Anyhooo......time to cut the snark. Seriously. Now, back to the show.

In the course of their discussion, George wishes that he had never been born. Ironically (there's that word again. What's my problem tonight?), it's one of the few wishes he is granted.

George is swept off to Pottersville, like Dorothy on her way to Oz. There's even wind. Okay, it's not exactly like that, but I'm trying to break some sort of pop culture reference record. Note to self: Google "record for most pop culture references in a blog entry."

Source: https://www.tumblr.com/tagged/almira-gulch

When George gets to Pottersville, he is shown a litany of train wrecks that are other people's lives. Without George, these people are lost.

Not to be too much of a Negative Nellie, that's a really sad commentary about all of these people and their need for someone else to make their lives meaningful. On the other hand, it says a lot about George and his importance to the community, his friends and his family.

George isn't shown one single thing that would change his life for better if he returned to Bedford Falls and not followed through with the suicide.

Nothing he is shown directly impacts or improves his life. Clarence leads him on a path of showing how great other people's lives are because George is in them. And yet, it is enough.

George ultimately decides to pray to be returned to Bedford Falls because, as he says, "I want to live again." That is not a wish, this time, but a prayer. His prayer is answered. He returns to Bedford Falls, knowing full well he will face charges of "bankruptcy and scandal and prison." And he goes joyfully.

He is glad to be alive for the simple fact of knowing that he has positively impacted the lives of so many other people.

For my dollar, that makes him the ultimate humanitarian; George, however, never noticed it. It's like Alanis said, after all: "Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think everything's okay."

Isn't it ironic?

Don't you think?

Ironically (HAHAHA) I couldn't find a picture of Alanis angry. So I chose this one instead.
Source: http://www.jobsnhire.com/articles/6683/20131109/you-oughta-know-alanis-morissette-americas-angriest-singer-is-bringing-a-barrage-of-bluntness-to-broadway-with-jagged-little-pill.htm

Nurse Magic

I have known many, many cats. Smiley Miss, Friendly, Bugga, Cooper, Bynx, Punkin, Belle, Loki, our new cat Mystic, and Magic.

My ex-wife and I got Magic shortly after we bought our house in 1998. Lance had Bugga, and I had wanted an indoor cat for many years. I couldn't have one in college and the apartment where we lived wouldn't let me get one, either.

And really, I need to clarify: *I* got a cat. My ex-wife was allergic to cats, but she got better as time went on, and actually went on after the divorce to cat-sit for her parents' cat long-term.

I got Magic from the Wood County Humane Society. It's where we got Mystic earlier this month, and it's where we will go again if we get another. And in reality, Magic picked me. I didn't really pick her.

I walked in and sat down on a chair and decided to see how the cats reacted to me. Magic jumped up on my lap right away and became very territorial, hissing and swiping at other cats who neared me, licking my hand and putting her head in my hand to force me to pet her. I was in love from the word go. She was 2 years old.

I called my then-wife and had her meet me at the humane society that afternoon. My initial visit was during my lunch break, as I was working that Saturday. She came up, we got the cat, and I sent the cat home with her while I finished my work day. Magic whined in the car the entire ride home, and my then-wife said she would never ride in the car with Magic again. And she never did.

When Evan was born, we were paranoid parents, afraid that Magic would attack Evan or sit on his chest and suffocate him, or scratch and bite him out of jealousy. She never did. She was very patient and tolerant and wonderful with Evan. And while I was more relaxed and less paranoid when Kaleb was born, she was just as good with him and let him yank her tail and crawl over top of her.

Shortly after Evan arrived came the divorce and feeling lost and out of control and all of that crazy stuff that goes along with the irrationality of divorce. I got to keep Magic, and we moved into a friend's house for about a year. She was always by my side, and when I was feeling down and found myself lying in bed trying to deal with it all, she was right there, snuggled up beside me. I didn't pull her up there. I never forced the issue or trapped her there. She came up with me to make me feel better.

She always did that, whether we were depressed or sick. She was always there by our sides. Even the night before she died, she had been hiding almost all day, sick herself. Evan began throwing up, and I was with him in the bathroom keeping him calm as he vomited over and over again. Sure enough, here comes Magic to check on Evan and make him feel better even as he threw up yet again. She laid down beside us on the cold vinyl floor, and she stayed there with us.

Not feeling very good myself, I went to bed shortly after Evan left. I was in bed around 6:30 at night. My stomach was rumbling, I felt like I was going to throw up at any moment, and I had other issues going on that I will not speak of here. There was Magic snuggled up against me, making me feel better just by being there.

I think that is one of the main reasons I feel so bad. Even at the end, she was there comforting us in our illnesses. But she had been sick for two weeks, and had lost more than 5 pounds, and there was nothing I could do to make her feel better.

In the end, as she was dying at age 12 years and 9 months, all I could do was apologize to her for that, and to thank her for being with me through all of the crazy, stupid shit that I have put her through in the last 5 years.

I think, in the end, as much as I love Magic, the top 5 things I will miss the most are: 1) Her in the role of Nurse Magic; 2) Waking up in the middle of the night, lying on my side with my arm sticking out beside me, and Magic snuggled up beside me, spooning on the inside with her head on my arm; 3) The security of knowing that she is somewhere in this house, even if I don't know exactly where she may be at any given moment. 4) Having her to hug when there's nobody else to hug. 5) Rubbing her belly and play-fighting with her.

Here is what Jen wrote about Magic on our family blog, which is located at http://vanvorhisfamily.blogspot.com/:

"Magic is our yellow-eyed jet-black cat. She's a science-diet crunchin', bird watchin', squirrel scowlin' (good kitty), Kaleb toleratin', loud purrin', tail-swishin' girl. She's known as Magic Marie, Magic, Fluff, Fluffer-Nutter, Kitty, Baby-Girl/BBG, Miss Magic, Popper, M&M, Doodlebug, Doodles, and probably three or four others that we've missed. She holds the title of the most nicknames in our house."

I miss my baby girl.